That was totally badass. Until it wasn't.

You just disappeared up your own ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

That's why I started this place, to do something big.
To make a difference. You know, like Steve Jobs.

Look, guys, for thousands of years, guys like us gave gotten the ♥♥♥♥ kicked out of us. But now, for the first time, we're living in an era, where we can be in charge and build empires. We could be the vikings of our day.

I prevent cross-site scripting. I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. The Internet - heard of it? - transfers half a petabyte of data minute; do you have any idea how that happens? All those YouPorn ones and zeroes streaming directly to your ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little smartphone day after day, every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who ♥♥♥♥♥ his pants if he can't get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under twelve seconds? It's not magic, it's talent and sweat. People like me ensure your packets get delivered unsniffed. So what do I do? I makes sure that one bad config on one key component doesn't bankrupt the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ company. That's what the ♥♥♥♥ I do.

I know what binary is. Jesus Christ! I memorized the hexadecimal times tables when I was 14 writing machine code, okay? Ask me what 9 times F is. It's fleventyfive. I don't need you telling me what binary is, just like I don't need you thinking about soup or taking pictures of it. I need you thinking about apps, software and websites.