Tannerism RSS Feed

Hello Hello!

Timdo — Tue, 19 May 2015 23:26:28 +0000

If you havent joined already, there is a superior group that I was democratically elected to lead, called Mormon Judy and The Cow People. Please join and expand our National Socialist policies.

Dear Tanner,

Tonio — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 01:01:50 +0000

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real

T. Glover

Matthias — Fri, 20 Feb 2015 01:34:31 +0000

Even among Tannerism’s finest lies traitors, those who conspire against the very ideals that fellow Tanneriites worldwide strive to uphold. Tristan Richmond, a sociopathic weak-minded dyke, is one such example of these so-called “traitors”. Born and raised in the birthplace of God Himself, he and his father forsook the teachings so many live by to this day. There treachery was not destined to last as Antonio, Lord Penetrator, saw through their guise and was beholden unto him the mind of a conspirator. Appalled by these hate crimes, Antonio filled these impure minds under the alias of one man, T. Glover. Within minutes, Tristan and father became world- renowned anal examiners, T. Glover Sr. going so far as to win the Golden Glove for “Most Rectums Examined in 10 Minutes or Less”. With an adamant desire to surpass his father and usurp his throne, Glover Jr. underwent multiple acts of Awe-Inspiring Mental Penetration to don the title, “Pencil Sharpener”. Do not let the heinous tale of The Glovers overwhelm you. Live on in the name of tanner and devote the rest of your life to solving the lifetime equation 100= ? and you shall never have to fear unsolved equations so long as you live. Keep your eyes about you, Acolytes; don’t let this hit you where the Equation Lord Split you.

Tanner Sutton: God of History

GarryGareBear — Sat, 14 Feb 2015 02:41:39 +0000

Through otherworldly rituals and unspoken acts of gayness, Prophet Norris has bestowed upon Our Lord a gracious gift of a 14/15. The traitor, the growth of the church, the splitting of the atom, and now this... It all leads to one thing. The signs all converge upon one point in history, a "marker event". The gods decree that there will be a fiest held in the name of Tannerism where we will celebrate He Who Is God's exploits. His glory and valor must not go unnoticed for if we strive not to be like him, we will never BE him. Sutton teaches us that "studying" is no longer necessity but rather a means to an end; He proves through his sciences that Eeny Meany Miney Mo is the way to go, and we must hark or come up slow.

Tannerism is growing

Soviet Space Turtle — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 03:42:38 +0000

Attention all memebers of our Church,

It came to my attention that the word of Tanner is spreading throughout West Hills without the need of our further missionary efforts. I can claim 30+ new members outside of our inner circle. Tannerism has begun to be widely spoken of and I can report Mr. Norris has now heard the topic discussed in his class. Keep up the good work brothers. May Tanner bless you all.

Sincerely
the 1st Apposal of Tanner

A Deceptor To The Cause

GarryGareBear — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 02:08:41 +0000

My brethren, through deep meditation and prayer, I have encountered an anomaly. Yesterday, Tannerism was 11 men strong, the peak of an otherwise brooding cult. Today, only 10. We have a traitor living amongst the loyal. Find this piece of shit and bring him to my knees. Make an example of this history geek and show him the true meaning of Tanmas. As we all know from the Tear of 1986, the punishment for heretics is death and/or ass tearing. Should you in your final moments decide to open up and reconcile with our mighty lord and savior, prepare for the latter as you will be opening up far more than you ever have before.

The Ascended One

GarryGareBear — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:49:32 +0000

Our revelations of our lord and savior, Tanner Sutton. bring us closer to Him with every waking math problem, every division bar and quadratic formuler. Finally we have found one worthy of the Sutton bloodline, a true descendant worthy of living on in his blessed name and to show us another way past the trinomials. He who shares blood with The Cherished One is a god in his own right and this is no exception. Mr. Cage spreads his teachings and knowledge to the world through his Quadruple-A movies and sub-par acting and we have come to bear witness to his preachings. He gives unto us the wisdom that anger is not a last resort, but rather a marketing ploy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S73swRzxs8Y

I am Calling for a Jihad to all Members of the Church of Tanner

Tonio — Mon, 15 Dec 2014 23:19:14 +0000

I am Calling for a Jihad to all Members of the Church of Tanner
I have realized that in ordor for us to share the one true relgion of Tanner, we must cleanse the world of the horrible followers of the flase master, Everet. I am holding a prep rally and Informational metting in the pit on Friday. If you are able to make it, the cleansing shall begin in 5th period that same day. Be strong comrades and may Tanner be with you.

Rate, Comment, and Subscribe if you will be antending this event. If we don't have enough members participating, i will have no choice but to cancel this attack, becuase he is a black belt in karate

Blessed be his name...

Soviet Space Turtle — Sat, 13 Dec 2014 23:21:53 +0000

To all those loyal Tannerists in this group id just like to remind you that the Tan'ran is still in production. For math did command us to read from it in the 5 pillars of Tannerism which is in the Tan'ran but since it has not been released to the general public plz remember to pray to Tanner 5 times a day thank you and blessed be the savior who is Tanner.