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Moneys short, times are hard heres your fucking christmas card. Merry Christmas you lovely guys an gals.

[вүλң] SlapChop — Mon, 11 Dec 2017 21:50:09 +0000

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everyone felt shitty, even the mouse!

Dad at the whore house, Mom smoking grass,
and I just settled down for a nice piece of ass.

Then out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew right away that fat fucker fell.

He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with one hell of a fart,
that son-of-a-bitch blew my chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have one hell of a night."

Its the 4th. Blow something up.

[вүλң] SlapChop — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 20:20:52 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc2d652_2hE

Thank you for the days.

[вүλң] SlapChop — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 23:30:33 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2Vgk1z_l9Q

BUY THIS DIRT CHEAP GAME BEFORE IT GOES AWAY FOREVER!

PaperZero — Sun, 14 May 2017 23:31:14 +0000

Yeah so this game Alan Wake is being removed from Steam because its music licensing is running out so you should buy it so it'll stay in your downloads. It'll be removed from the storefront in a day or so. It's basically super cheap and it's a cool little horror series

http://store.steampowered.com/sub/15407/?snr=1_4_4__139

HEY DICKS

PaperZero — Thu, 13 Oct 2016 00:40:12 +0000

I BOUGHT GTAV ON PC

add me on social club and then I can shoot you in the face

just click this you dicks[socialclub.rockstargames.com]

also join my crew, DUMPSTER TRASH[socialclub.rockstargames.com]

KNOCK KNOCK YOU ABOUT TO GET SLAP CHOPPED

PaperZero — Thu, 07 Jul 2016 05:43:12 +0000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaACrT6Ydik

Mission position

[вүλң] SlapChop — Sat, 21 May 2016 23:26:33 +0000

The date is 5-21-2016. Your mission, if you choose to accept it. A Star corp ocean liner is headed to the cayman islands. On board 5,000 lbs of american citizens. "Below deck safe full of passengers valubles." The job: Execute the captain of the ship, and assume control. Move the bags through the bowels of the ship and out the designated porthole to a waiting speed boat. The catch? You must dispose of all bodies using only as seen on tv travel items. The "Slapchop" heist. -SlapChop

My Car Keys!

[вүλң] SlapChop — Fri, 15 Apr 2016 23:10:34 +0000

Locked my keys in my car out front of an abortion clinic...

Should have seen their face when I asked for a coat hanger. ... -Slap

Regulators

[вүλң] SlapChop — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 18:06:10 +0000

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. Ironically, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. He insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful thieves reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a considerable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself escaping in a surreal fashion, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. There follows a brief discussion of the genre’s musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).

Daily Genocide

[вүλң] SlapChop — Sat, 19 Mar 2016 16:04:00 +0000

So we fap on, falice against the knuckle, borne back ceaselessly into the Shower drain.