Around the country this week experts have been recieving reports of panda cubs being, oddly enough, brutally clubbed. Authorities are at a loss when we asked them who would do this, and why they would do such a thing. Mr. Smith (name witheld for his protection), the chief of a local police had this to say about the situation: "I just don't know why this would happen... I mean, I can understand folks clubbing pug puppies, and perhaps even babies, but panda cubs are just so darn cute! Whoever did this is some sick !@#$."