Welcome to Aperture Laboratories Where we Make Turrets, Bigger Turrets and Bigger-er Turrets Well You Get The Point That We Make Turret

Aperture is about Everything to do with SCIENCE!

so stay proud of what you are


Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."

"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news his we've got a much better test for you: Fighting an army of Mantis Men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts."

"Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.

"I've just been notified that one of our test subjects may have angered the Sentient Cloud by beginning testing early. Now, as you all know, the cloud has banned all camera technology- hates getting its picture taken. So, this'll have to be on the honor system: Will whoever started testing early please go outside so they can be consumed by the cloud."

"Greetings, Friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the products we invited, but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-"

"All right, I've been thinking. When live gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?' Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! "



Dont Spam Chat!
Dont Bring Lemons!
Dont Let GLaDOS Loose!

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THIS MILESTONE IS FANCY
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Our Group
Great Youtuber "not me"
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