"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself."

This one time i blew a load from my ♥♥♥♥ but did i know it landed on my foot and dried and i thought it was a melted marshmellow and licked it off, it was salted. I love marshmellows on my feet.

The End.

Once upon a time, I conjured lightning from the tip of my penis. Quite a spectacle to behold really, but that isn't the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ point. The point is....






I SHOT LIGHTNING









FROM MY ♥♥♥♥.

And fried every hoe in existence.

Steam user "delicious candy" was at his job making alot of sandwiches. Delicious candy loves to eat sandwiches till he turns blue and almost dies. Even when he was in kindergarten he used to eat all the sandwiches he could, mostly from his lunch box. Boy I could eat a milli sandwiches right now if I wasn't going to kill myself for being such a fat ass.

Steam user "delicious candy" was at his house licking alot of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Delicious candy loves to strangle himself with clitorati till he turns blue and almost dies. Even when he was in kindergarten he used to lick all the ♥♥♥♥♥ he could, mostly from teachers. Boy I could lick a milli ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ right now if I wasn't going to kill myself for being such a playa.

Steam user "delicious candy" was at his house sucking alot of ♥♥♥♥♥. Delicious candy loves to strangle himself with veiny ♥♥♥♥♥ till he turns blue and almost dies. Even when he was in kindergarten he used to suck all the ♥♥♥♥♥ he could, mostly from janitors. Boy I could suck a milli ♥♥♥♥♥ right now if I wasn't going to kill myself for being such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Once upon a time, two rich white kids walked through Detroit bragging about the recent sum of money they had just received from their rich parents.


A fine donation was made to the local drug dealers, hoodlums, and gangbangers in the area.

The End.

A last merry tale for this current cycle of the Earth upon it's axis.

This one time, I made a sandwich.
























It was good.

the End.

I have another tale to relinquish upon my bretheren here.

I once knew Merlin, the great wizard that served Alexander the Great. He was my apprentice actually. One day, we saw some real fine medieval peasant hoe. She had supple breasts and made a mighty fine shepherds pie. We were elated to find a wench of such beauty. Here hair was greasy, her face a cavernous lagoon of pores and acne. She was magnificent. We led her to a dragons lair and he burned her to a crisp. That dragon is now the president of the United States.

I was once a mere lad, then, the ♥♥♥♥♥♥s came. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥s were so gangster my pants fell down slightly on the spot, baring the tip of my underwear for all behind me to behold. I quickly scaled the ranks by stealing car sterios and manufacturing underground rap and producing underquality methamphetamine and crack cocaine. I became their leader, they worshipped me as the most gangsta ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ around. Then, a great ape challenged my reign of absolute authority and dopeness. He pulled out a huge crack pipe, and smoked all my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ with a TEC-9 he got from some rundown warehouse that used to make teddy bears and nuclear weapons. I roared in happiness, I was free! I skinned the ape, and ate his intestines. I have a wallet with the words "Big ♥♥♥" inscribed on the side. The wallet is made from the dried testicles of the great ape that led me to salvation.

Here's a story for you little ♥♥♥♥♥. It was a dark night in the middle of the day and two dead boys got up to play. They turned their backs and faced eachother drew their swords and shot eachother. Two deaf policemen heard the noise and came to settle the two bad boys. If you dont think my story is true, ask the blind man he saw it too.

once upon a time, there was a ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ who hunted deers that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ bears. This ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ was so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fat that his sniper rifle had more support from his big ass flabs. One day this ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ got a triple kill while hunting for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who ate his McNuggets. He was so happy that his ten ton ass farted poison. This juicy ass fart was blown in the wind, and spread into the city of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. This city was poisoned from the ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥'s fart, and killed everyone in it. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is now used for making dildos. The end.

There was this one time when I was doing that thing with that guy and we went to that one place because we forgot this other thing and had to get one but they were out of it so we had to go to a different place and they had it so we could do that one thing we were going to do before we went to the place which led to the other place where we got the one thing for the thing the end.

Don't take ♥♥♥♥ here too seriously