In hopes to beat CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet's in sales EA is releasing a game called Tom the Platypus.

Redwood City, California- In a press conference EA has announced Tom the Platypus to compete with CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet's Dennis the Porcupine. Future Details will be released at a press conference in coming days.

Employees Job: Employees Name (Note)

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Lead Designer: General Balls (He fires people (I thought the boss did that?) writes blogs entries on our amazing blog made with flash)

Head Chef: notavirus.exe (Sorry, but you are! )

Janitor: franjrp92 (Should be cleaning out the toilets right now)

Profesional Leaker: Linblum (No not the pee type leek. This guy leaks the game so we gain publicity! )

Courier: bobsmith101 (Does stuff)

<Important Job Insert Here>: DaedricFire (He finds out what colour blood is so we get it correct in our games + he also gets us donouts in which we must have)

Coffee 'MAN': SaneDunk (If you don't get it right, this guy notices. And complains )

Script Kiddie: Exit_ (Works in the basment)

Company Assassin: STEELCITY32 (Not sure what he does... never been able to track him down )

PR Executive: Blinxx (Maintains public image and leaks the leaks about leaking. Also part time receptionist when no one can be bothered to answer their phones)

Begger Outside Office: Jinoruizraged (He begs for money | Sorry but you can )

Miner: Bugs Bunny (Currently mining out more room for out script kiddie. 2 minutes ago he passed the metro. Maybe boss should have a word with him...)

Health Inspector: SgtKaboose (Never seems to be around... I think its just safer not being in the building *new* Reports that he has been locked up inside the building, if anyone has any information on this please respond. We need our Health Inspector back!!)

Spy: RYANTREMBLAY (Currently Activision CEO. You make us proud RYANTREMBLAY!)

PR Guy: Killroyomega (Does things...)

Office Chaplin: Seth.Sekhmet (Go to him if you need a mana refil!)

Support Team: Benji90 (Tells them they hold their mouse the wrong way and also to stop feeding them)

Security Guard: Wolf-Enabled (Amazing chap here. Does everything no one wants him to do)

Pimp: ZackFair (Pimps around...)

Level Designer: hellslayer (He makes poor maps but not one blames him. He just came from Activision)

2nd Professional Leaker: danisson (Gains publicity for us)

Assistant Regional Manager: Bearkin (I think this guys actually taking this thread seriously <.<)

Extra: real4xor (Gets in all the photos and publicity shoots)

Vice President: abcxyq (In charge of making arbitrary decisions - Whatever that is...)

Personal Magician: 5UB (Cheers everyone up with a trick or two. Awww)

Enviroment Artist: LATTEH (Makes things in MS Paint)

Assistant Deputy Backup Coffee Girl: spacebug (Works when SaneDunk dosnt, very helpful...)

Audiophile: g859 (Buys and tests out our high end stereo for our offices. Also a giveaway of headphones in the lobby, so get there quick!)

Animation and Character Designs:GirlPower23 (Makes crappy and spazzy animations for us. I belive when I last had a look, she was working in 8 bit colours for the characters)

Fininacial Assistant: yoops (Makes sure we are getting as much + more than we deserve. Also tells us when we make a bad mistake but we all just shout "Yoops!")

Personal Hat Stand: Sirhc Nacnud (Stands in the lobby. Good at holding hats)

Vehicle Artist: DOE_JOHN88 (Draws cars all day but never passed them onto the moddeling team)

Office Building: MyNameDidntFit (Dont ask - And Bugs Bunny, he got the job!)

Office Creep: Xezium (No one told him he was fired)

Secretary: Xia (Makes bonfires from paper all day - This is good office spirit)

Recruitment Manager: devilsrefugee (Hires all the lowlifes so they have better lives than we have had. We are a good company at the heart (Presumably at MyNameDidntFit's heart))

Head of Intergalactic Sales:Goro421 (Wears tin foil hat)

Creative Director: Stickman (Has a compass. Thus, can provide directions, thu